I had unsolicited Kundalini/Holy Spirit awakening (many years ago) and was not sure what to make out of the many types of Initiations I was undergoing, and wished (early 2000) I had someone who understood what I was going through and give me feedback. I didn't study mystical texts, didn't aspire to be 'spiritual' at all, still it 'happened' because I was already rokin' the Saint stage but didn't know it. . . even though the proof was right in front of my eyes (and spiritualized consciousness).
This Proof presented itself in Summer 1994 - it was when I discovered 'by fluke' I had a blue ribbon of Light next to my skin and a vast golden Light aura-field around my head and body (and still have that journal scribble).
My husband suggested contacting one Rabbi (whose lecture he enjoyed years earlier), so I found his phone number and called. His wife answered and profusely apologized he couldn't speak to me that because he had meetings all day due to a 'high holiday' - and invited kindly to call again.
The moment passed and I didn't call back.
Then I read The Flame of Love - Theology of the Holy Spirit, penned by Dr. Clark H. Pinnock, and wanted to speak with him! I found his home address but chickened out. Instead, I called McMaster Divinity college and inquired about his courses. I wept and babbled about financial stresses, shared a bit of what I was experiencing, and the nice professor (not Pinnock) I was speaking with, assured me someone like me who was 'touched by God's Grace' shouldn't worry about that - said, nothing should prevent me from doing what I was called to do.
Within few days I received info package in a beautiful burgundy binder ... then there was the "one car" (transportation) problem, and that was the end of that endeavor.Simply put, my life situation (one paycheck family) forced me to submit to, and rely on God's Grace. In due time I realized that what was 'happening to me' was a transformation of epic proportions - a shift to Soul level mode of being which renders one 'fully transparent to the depths of the Divine' - and did not seek others for any whatsoever support.
I placed all of my trust in the hands of that Immense Intelligence to do to me what it Wills.
I have had a share of both really ecstatic experiences, as well the kind,
'which almost always involve wrenchingly bodily ordeals as they ("genuine mystics") bring Spirit down and into their bodily being via descending or incarnational Agape.'
-Ken Wilber's quote from, The Eye of Spirit.
Few days ago I saw Sri Ramana Maharshi quote, and am glad to say this has been my attitude/practice (natural surrender) even during the toughest times:
"Place your burden at the feet of the Lord of the universe who is ever victorious and accomplishes everything. Remain all the time steadfast in the heart, in the Transcendental Absolute. God knows the past, present and future. He will determine the future for you and accomplish the work. What is to be done at the proper time. Don't worry. Abide in the heart and surrender your acts to the Divine.
Years ago, a time when Internet gaslighters took turn to bully me for sharing Depth data's revelations, I recall one poignant moment when I said to God-Mind:
'It is NOT up to me to convince others of Your Existence!'
I know what I bear witness to is not the subconscious mind's dive into its dream-like formations, not psychedelics 'trips', either - this is why when I say, what I share is the Communication of the Divine Logos from the Source of its Nature (divine revelations) - as revealed by the One standing in the center of a blazing fire of Exalted Wisdom (Immortal self-Soul / Goddess Clear Light) - I really mean it.
The Goddess Living Light whose Veil no mortal has lifted, Sings:
The She who sees the Self present in all beings and all beings existing in the Self Divine, stands naked in the crowd of ideas - without uttering one word - declares:
I am Aware, I am the Anointed and the Anointing One
Self-generating Bliss in loving oneness
With everything that's arising.
It is my moral duty to obey the call of my vocation and a great honor, to uphold and carry forward the Legacy of the "great" mystics.
Gopi Krishana is on board with what I am asserting:
"The men and women who have undergone this transformation and now have this expanded consciousness are known to be in the Samadhi state of oneness with the cosmic consciousness. All the great mystics who have written on the subject have given their own symptoms openly and plainly. That is the tradition. And from their descriptions, one can compare one's own condition."
What is the take away message in what I share here? I would say, as one journeys through the labyrinth of this Path, solidity of character (sincere/pure intentions and motivations) and the kind of surrender that Trusts that the Divine Grace 'knows best', is the most important thing.
Sri Aurobindo reminds us "Our personal endeavour and aspiration cannot reach Supermind." + "The supramental change can take place only if the psychic (Soul) is awake and its made the chief support of the descending supramental power."
Not to be confused with the 'aha' moment. . .the 'aha moment', when supported by ambitions to fit one's personal interests, agendas and gains of the 'what's in it for me', kind, is something else.
The descent of the Supramental Force is the Divine power/energy one literally feels in every fiber of our being, doesn't fit the 'aha' frame.
Those of us who know that all mystical knowledge must be ultimately grounded in genuine Soul level experience, see that spiritually sounding maxims without supporting evidence, is proof of assertion.
May You Find Inspiration In This Testimony.
