Monday, July 12, 2010

She Needed to Hear Jesus' Words Once More

Today,  finally I convinced myself to  write about my (ex) sister-in-law's last  wish. . .
This story can make sense only to one who believes that what I share is true. This story will make more sense if I share a bit of her bio-material.

D. was rejected by her  teen birth-mother. . .One of her adopted grandmothers referred to her as "she", or "her", because she "preferred boys" - said her mom not all phased.

"She never cried when getting whipped on bare bum, which I thought was very strange", said her brother - adding,  "Guess she didn't want to give him the satisfaction."  Going through mom's underwear drawer  got her in  trouble but the punishment had to wait till dad came come...
Through the week the mother kept track of  their adopted kids  misbehaviour's, on weekend when the father came home, his job was to whip some sense into them with a  beating ritual whose opening line was command "take your underpants off and lay across my lap".

In her 40's  D. found her birth mother who after a couple of meetings decided to move to BC to live with her son.
From birth mother she found out who her father was and same year she contacted him. They met once in person. He lived in BC and from there he sent D. a   word-glowing  letter . It was several pages long, I  read it and it  got me all teary-eye . Filled to brim with: "wish I could have been there for you" "you are such a beautiful person inside and out",   sentiments. . . Full of  hope they might "spend summers together".
Her face aglow sharing her vision that soon this will come to pass (because)  "I can just see us sail together on his boat...."
I thought that many page letter was written from his heart and it couldn't  have been more heart-tugging.

Weeks later  D. received   "I'm sorry"word from her birth father announcing his wife's wish is that he severs all ties with her.
And that was that. No more dreams of a father-figure capable of showing emotion who wanted to make up for the time lost.

Her health began a downward spiral . .  . Several times, during normal  family conversation (at in-laws - she lived w/them)  she would  say "I can't stomach that" to no one in particular.
Her (gut/bowel) disease began turning her bones into mush. In the last year of her life sneezing was dangerous. Once she sneezed and her thigh bone broke.
The ambulance folks got a call to take her to the hospital and had to call another ambulance to help them. Her  wailing screams filled with  concern  the neighbors.  Not only was her thigh bone broken, now she wailed in agony because  her arm got broken when the ambulance  crew tried to lift her unto the stretcher.

I'm just highlighting few  things  to give a sense just how very ill her body was.
She claimed to have been allergic to a lot of good fresh foods --- but hot dogs, Pepsi and cigarettes she loved.
She was interested in herbal remedies but never tried anything. She knew about "energy healing" and once  I offered  to place my hands on her sore knees, but she pretended no to hear me.
I didn't see her often during those last few months she was in hospital. Her brother did often visit her after work ( he worked in same city.)
Despite being heavily medicated D. begged the hospital staff not to touch, or move her -- not even to change the sheets.   And when they did,  she had to be heavily sedated.

Towards the end she hasn't been able to speak (for several weeks)  let alone sit or eat, still the worried  mom asked (on the parking lot)  D's  bone specialist if   she "will walk again". He gently told her that he never saw anything like it, and there was nothing more that he,  she, or anyone  else could do to help her.
Her twisted and shrunken body lay motionless towards  the end  and one could literally smell the disease (she had severe case of "bed sores" also).

In June at  dawn one day,  I heard behind me D's  excited  voice say my name. I glanced at the clock made a mental note of the time, thinking "this is it" -- thinking she died.
My ex worked the afternoon shift   that day and later called the mom, but  she acted 'normal' .
I was relieved and couldn't wait to see D. still alive  (same day) .
Her, ever-by-her-side, beautifully illustrated Bible was put away. Her lifeless body and staring (without blinking) eyes wide open, still responding when asked something by uttering barely audible grunts.
I asked her brother to find her Bible (which took a while) and  I spoke to her about God's love. I asked if she wanted me to read for her from her bible and she indicated 'yes'. Not at all sure which passages I was supposed to read, but chose the Gospel of John and read for a little while.

After reading, I talked tenderly to her a bit more and asked if I could gently place my hands on her body . . .She was unresponsive, but I took it to mean that maybe she dozed off (even tho her staring eyes were open) and proceeded to scan her energy field and gently placing hands here and there. . .At some point I looked at her face, saw her clenched jaw, and stopped instantly.

Next, while sipping coffee the hallway we got approached by a very pleasant Pastor-man who asked if there was anything he could do for us.
I asked if he could read from the Bible for D. . .
Like me, he also asked D. if she would like him to read for her.... Once again, she indicated 'yes'.
We prayed at the end, the Pastor left, and a nurse came in to top off her morphine.
Minutes later  husband and I   decided that it was time to go home. I said bye first, then while her brother was still next to D. ,  when suddenly  at the top of her voice  she screamed  "grab me!!!!"

This time I  gently placed my hands on her heart chakra with, "this is what it feels like when the soul is  leaves the body". (that 'soaring' movement I knew well.)
I knew well, that at the speed of  meta-light   that 'soaring' feeling/sensation  were experienced during ecstatic moments --  which if memory serves me right Hildegard of Bingen described also.
She passed peacefully few days later.

& & & &

Saturday, July 10, 2010

The One Light Shining Through All

The one light shining through all is the Buddha Mind . . .
Different traditions have other names for the same One Light-bliss.
The Rig Veda  says: "I honor in you the divine that I honor within myself and I know we are One."
For personal reasons, I like best the following quote, because it includes the dimension of mystical  Love-Essence.
"Some Upanishads describe Brahman as the Lord of Love. It is a description born of pure personal experience of a seeker of truth, not from a devotee's imaginative and self-induced emotional energy." 

Conventional Christianity teaches that "God is Love", that Jesus "is the only son of God" -- which never made much sense to me, because Jesus' invited his followers to 'do as I do and greater thiings will be accomplished'.

Below, in the comment section, I wrote "Buddha mind in me sees same in you". . .It is the same one Force-Intelligence that each enlightened being --in permanent Samadhi--discovers within their innermost sanctuary/one's eternal self-Soul who is one with the Supreme Existence  and its Love-Bliss. . .consciously.
Enlightened Liberation is about discovering and living within  Divine Nature. The ascended mystic, or Yogi/Yogini,  who abandoned all cravings and is established in the Supreme Love-Bliss bears witness to this Truth by describing why/how/what happens on this Path through Light and Sound.
Gopi Krishna agrees: All the great mystics who have written on the subject have given their own symptoms openly and plainly. That is the tradition. And from their descriptions, one can compare one's own condition. 

                                                                     <><><>
Words' (intent) are meant to spark interest in the Divine, but the meaning must be felt in every fiber of one's being without ceasing.
That 'felt' energy -- because it is a non-local phenomenon -- influences holographicaly every*thing.

In this blog I am bearing witness to what happens at the zenith-point of Soul's evolution. I talk about undergoing transformation of epic proportions...Of being Initiated into the greatest Mystery of all (in my case unsolicited), Kundalini Shakti, style.  Liberation grounded in multidimensional evolution into wholeness and transcendence, is not for the faint of heart, because bhava Samadhi is impossible to retain unless worldly desires have been removed and proper qualities have been established. The Shiva Sutras affirms this:
All desire vanishes in that fortunate person whose consciousness
is established in his own nature.
For him the state of being of a limited individual has ended.


Supermind Explains Itself

The queen of edit-expansions did it again 2024-11-03! Exploration of deep structures of the Transcendent Reality (in all its aspects) and i...