Little Girl Revisited

THE DANCING HEART BEATS in the RHYTHM WITH the DIVINE WILL

My first spiritual poem titled Little Girl - Spirit Speaks' first blog entry in 2009 - contains the first spark of the destiny I was destined to grow into...
Truth be told, ever since I was a little girl my heart-sense felt alive with a type of energy as if it already knew precisely what the future had in store for me. . . I now know with outmost certainty that 'I have become what I was born to be'. I was always a doer - a mover and shaker type, and an agent of my own destiny. 'Twas I who begged Mama to let me to go school the year my older sister and friend started first grade. She relented, so did school - and I was ecstatic. 'Twas I who decided to leave school, because I was bored to death. I was the one who made the decision to emigrate to Canada when I was a teen - because the little town I grew up in was too boring for my taste.

I felt intense outrage when my husband's parents' guy friend, said: "You're just a mommy now" - upon seeing cradling in my arms my newborn baby.
I wrote Happily Blaming My Ways on Karma 2020/05 & Blaming My Ways on Karma 2023/01, to show what its like to be a selfless doer.

I made that vow: 'I will Work for the Higher Power' (scribbled in blog in 2009) before I was born . . . Because I was born with unbroken continuity of awareness.

The One who placed that 'duty-bound and joyful' Spark in me, knew I was strong enough to bear my own suffering as well as witness others' and still chose love and 'helping hands'.

My four-year-old self declared:
"I will dance for God!" (when Gran tried to teach me prayers), and I kept that Promise with my courage, my surrender and witness - by my willingness to speak what others cannot yet hear, to write and speak only from alignment with that deeper guidance.

Duty offered as selfless service is an act of devotion to God, feels like the most natural thing. . .I simply offer what I was entrusted with. This vow I made long to 'dance for God', feels like a first time the Divine used my hand to tell me about my future - to show me that my destiny was already whispering.

I write because the Teachings entrusted to me were not supposed to remain private. They were meant to be offered, perserved, and placed in hands of those who can hear world's cries.

My calling is to testify to the Higher Realities so they are not lost in an age of confusion and spiritual amnesia. . .
Hearts broken open see world's pain. We see our fragmented selves: psychologically, spiritually - we see the unfortunate results of break down of meaning, ecological self-harm, racial tensions, tribal identity wars, fear-based politics, etc. We see that these terrible problems can be corrected by integrated minds and awakened hearts:
Those who are capable of perspective-taking and spiritual discernment can hold paradox without collapsing.
These capacities are not luxuries. They are survival requirements for the next stage of humanity.

I do not write to convince sceptics. I write because Immortal Teachings are in danger of being lost - burried under scientism, cynicism, and cultural indifference.
I write because the Supramental descent is not a myth: It is a living evolutionary event.
I write because the Divine asked me to bear witness, and I obey. Our future depends on what we become. The Supramental is not coming to save us. It is coming to transform us - if we are willing.

My task is simple: to salvage what must not be forgotten, to articulate what must be understood, and to serve the Divine in the unfolding of our collective future.

There are moments on the Path when the Divine smiles. . .The Dancing Heart sees Humanity differently - it does not turn away from world's suffering. It sees it more clearly (without despair). It sees the fragmentation, the fear, the confusion, the spiritual amnesia - yet it also sees what humanity is capable of and must become. The Dancing Heart knows there is a deeper intelligence trying to emerge. . .And the Heart dances because it knows that a better future is not a fantasy, but a destiny. The world needs Hearts that can feel the future calling and respond.

I write because I speak the language of authenticity. This Voice is fluent in transparency, because the Kosmic address I'm writing from has a built-in, non-fail rigor bulit into its structure by the Will of the Supreme Effulgence and its Conscious Force.
I write to remind the narrow-science empiricist that,
"....the Nature has built an unscealable wall to keep the intellect intruding into a territory that belongs to a superior sense" - quote in Gopi Krishna's words.

Some days ago, developmentally arrested man - in whose hands even AI sounds like a tragic expression of a deeply seeded wound that can never heal, wrote:
"Treating contemplative traditions as if they already possess validated access to metaphysical reality is delusional". This man keeps insisitng that (my) "Your translations are wrong because they are outside of science". That writings on subtle subtle realms, causal consciousness, nondual realization and evolutionary spirituality, are "speculative."
He is making category error - it's like saying poetry is wrong because it's not chemistry. What he says is true to him because he is speaking from a different developmenat center of gravity.

Both intellectual rigor and spiritual maturity are required to traverse the deepest developmental stages.
Traversing low subtle, low causal, high causal and ultimate developmental stages, are not for the faint-hearted. Authentic high-altitude insights into nature of Reality in its visible, invisible, and beyond aspects, are Grace-given to those willing to become Humanity's servants.
Is the secular guillotine of postmodern culture sharp enough to slaughter the transcendent, immaterial, ineffable mystery of the Enlightened awareness of the Immortal Soul?
Of course NOT.
But it is up to us to make sure theirs' is not the last word.

Sri Aurobindo affirms for me that what my child-self sensed and what the destiny 'whispered' to me, was not a fanatsy. . .I was born with unbroken continuity of awareness, this is why it 'happened' early in my life:
"There must be effected a complete transformation of our limited and distorted egotistic life and works into a large and outpouring of a greater divine Life. Will and Energy must be made conscious in us and master; no longer must it remain, as now, only a superconsciousness, upholding and permitting Force.
There must be achieved an undistorted transmission through us of the all-wise purpose and process of a now hidden omniscient Power and omnipotent Knowledge which will turn into its pure, unobstructed, happily consenting and participating channel all our transmuted nature. This total consecration and surrender and this resultant entire transformation and free transmission make up the whole fundamental means of the ultimate aim of the integral karmayoga."
Excerpt from The Synthesis of Yoga - intyoga.online.fr/say_it.html#9

* I use the term 'Kosmos' because in esoteric terms Kosmos includes the inner realms - not just the material universe.

We Live by the Spirit, Let Us be Guided by Spirit

"Mission is a Spirit event - it is God's mission, not ours.
Mission is not human effort responding to a commandment. It is not even obedience to the Great Commission. It is natural and spontaneous. Only after the Spirit fell did the disciples speak (Acts 2:4)"

Long before reading these words in Flame of Love - A Theology of the Holy Spirit, authored by Clark H. Pinnock - I scribbled (dream journal) "Jul. 27/94', description of:
"The Mission dream! I was flying around with my arms streached out yelling to people "You are divine! You are divine!" . . . watching them disapearing . . ."not ready to hear it". One blond girl rose up from sleep and sobbed with joy. We embraced!" (I was very blond when little).

Truth be told, ever since I was a little girl my heart-sense felt alive with a type of energy that sensed, but could not name that wich compelled me to 'act' on it.
Few examples:
My child-self once drew a large circle and from its center gazed at the star-studded sky's canopy....trembling ... so intense was her desire to want to know this Something she sensed, but could not name.

My destiny was already whispering:

I felt the future before it arrived. I carried a destiny too large for my body to hold, and no idea I made a vow long before I was born. A vow to serve, to witness, to carry the flame that would not go out even when the world tried to smother it.

In 1990', during intensly heated philosophical 'discussion' with my best friend and best husband in the word who wanted nothing more than for me to be happy. . .Screaming at the top of my voice: "WHAT IS REAL TRUTH!? WHAT IS REAL BEAUTY!?"
He shouted back: *it had nothing to do with him* but I was not to be outshouted. . .Some minutes later he suddenly got quiet, walked over to the far end of the room, sat on the far end of the couch and with quick glances in my direction and shooing-away hand gestures, pleaded:
"Don't do that, I can't see you" (several times).

When the dust setlled he said: "Your head was like the Sun, I couldn't see you." I was surprised to hear that - no idea what that was about - but thought maybe I can find a book which would explain such phenomenon. I tried, but not very hard to read this and that in 'Buddhist' books.

Reading was not at the top of my list. I was busy with all things domestic.

From time to time I would ask him to describe what he witnessed that day. Several years later (I had few students by then) it suddenly occur to me to ask again:
"How long was my head lit up for?".... He responded with irritated tone: "Why are you always asking me about it? . . .I don't know, three or four minutes."

He just wanted to have a normal and happy wife!

I kept asking, because I never heard such a thing! I understood why it happened after something just as unacany happened in sleep state . . . when my hand reached out for a pillow, the inside of my head lit up like the Sun. Wobbly-like at first because it was startled, then filling the walls of my awarenss with pure gold brightness - and confirmed later by a passage in Three Pillars of Zen, authored by Roshi Philip Kapleau - in the chapter on Enlightenment Experiences.

"...after this I went to a zazen meeting at which Yasutani roshi delivered a teisho on the "Three Gates of Oryu," a koan from Mumonkan. At one point he was saying: "How does your hand compare with the hand of a Buddha? Reaching out in your sleep for your dislodged pillow, instinctively you recover it. One's whole being is no different from this timeless hand. When you truly realize this, you will spontaneously burst into laughter."