Yogini Notes on Soul Powers

This morn' hour I jutted down  (silently received from mind beyond the mental/cognitive realm)  the following snippet:  You have the intelligence within you, that is you. . .
And, because I am obedient to my eternal Soul's guidance, I decided to focus-flow with this theme and see how it goes.

 Anyone can see my words are not the words of a scholar, and what I share is not really meant to be seen by a scholar  either, since greater complexity (with its own laws)  won't be recognized/comprehended by a mind that is convinced Divine Revelations and its contemplative conclusions are the product of a delusional mind. Mind which never heard about  'transmutation of erotic potency into spiritual force - and its effect on collective consciousness',  will reject Gopi Krishna's words on why we say that natural celibacy  plays a crucial role in Yogic/Supramental science.
In his book  Living With Kundalini,  he asserted:  A Yogi who tries to revert back to sexual conduct after any form of  realization is called a fallen Yogi.
Long  before I saw that  quote, I challenged  Ken Wilber's perspective/idea he presented in his book titled One Taste:  "for ultimate enlightenment, one must take an actual partner--real sex--in order to complete the circuits conducive to recognizing the already-enlightened mind".
I have no problem with this type of Self-realization (which many gurus cling to as well),   but this viewpoint is not the last word!  I know it is not,  and in this blog unpack what the Ultimate Consummation in the embodied sense, is really about. . .The one who writes from the embodied stage-persective knows that: 'Higher consciousness transforms Sexual impulse into the true force of Ananda'.

Huston Smith has been hailed as the foremost authority on the world's great religions. I google-found the following quote (which I most certainly second).
There is no way the finite is going to comprehend the Infinite on its own.
It has to be the Infinite taking the initiative, and that is the meaning of Revelation.

Some years ago, my Soul's Will (which knows how best to fulfill her 'ancient blueprint')  informed me:  There is a better plan for you.  At that time I was engaged  with a group of people who were hell-bent on attacking my character.  I tried to show them why they were wrong, and that only enraged them more.
I had no idea I could have free of charge blog, yet it happened!  Here, I can write as lamely as I please and talk about what the pathless path - through uncreated Light and Sound - has been like for me. Here, I have the freedom to chronicle  what the Supreme Divine entrusted me with.
Here, I have the freedom to say that the conditioned mind/intellect doesn't have access to the realm of existence of Complexity so immense that only the ascended (liberated) Soul can bear to See.
 Here, I can assert  that Self-realization without embodiment is not the end of evolution - it is a necessary step towards greater realizations and integration , but not yet the end of Ignorance!

Soul evolution is not at all popular because folks don't even know there is such a thing.
This is why I was ecstatic when I discovered Aurobindo's work!  Before I say more I will  inject this thought:  I am really glad I got interested in his work once my blog-writing was underway (many years after my Soul journey started) because no one can accuse me of  unconsciously creating experiences that mirrors what he says. 
For example: I resonated deeply with what he said about his Soul journey:
After realization of the Self, there are many things beyond that. The Divine guide within urged me to proceed, adding experience after experience. . .Till I arrived at Supermind.
Everyone has the right to express their opinion but no one has the right to their (own) Truth. This is why I am grateful beyond measure to Aurobindo for his work, for being my  peer review person.

                                                                     *
We already know that the universe contains abundant energy. It is also true that the subtlest energy is the strongest/more potent.  We/I know that the Supreme Shakti force (Kundalini /  Goddess / Holy Spirit) is the great Cosmic Power that creates and sustains the universe.  We discovered  that when this Force manifesting as the individual consciousness is merged in the Mind of the Supreme Divine,  Soul liberation is attained.
 I didn't ask for this, didn't aspire to become spiritual, still it happened.  The only thing I asked for was:   Not my will, Your Will  (Lord) be done!  I was ready to submit to the Inner Guide, and to my great surprise it happened. Kundalini Shakti grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and performed all manner of cosmic makeovers and Initiations into Supreme Mystery.   IF I knew what I had to go through I wouldn't volunteer for this. This path is not for the faint of heart. I am also  mindful of what I can, and cannot share.
(Genuine) Mystical experiences and their contemplative conclusion is our empirical data - which can be checked/compared with others who had undergone same type journey.

 Today I want to have on record  what happened this night in Deep Samadhi during  critical mass-point  phase of searing ecstasy * the result of self-generating Erotic Potency/True Force of Ananda's flow out of Crown chakra into world's hologram via subtle planes *
Brief description: I was flat on my back when I felt my causal body's vertical ascent.  During this expansion  phase (ascent)  I was aware of  strong, rhythmic  pulsing on the top  (mid-front) of my head.  This type of soul experience is about a direct perception of: ' I transcended this world, and  this is what it feels like when the Inner being (Soul)  merges fully with the Essence of the Divine Beloved's Essence.  No longer 'Soul and God', but a state of Ultimate Consummation - where one's Soul  recognizes its supreme identity with Godhead.  The return to flesh body was accompanied by a sharp, snap-like sound.
The Bhagavad Gita says that,  finding supreme ecstasy is the final goal. . . I like to add that, the other side of this Cosmic Coin has 'Cosmic Tonglen Duty' carved into its surface. This is the hardest job in the universe because one's Universal Body doesn't get to 'shut down'.
Those who bear witness to this know, that what we experience and share is for the benefit of all beings in the visible and invisible domains -  for the sake of evolution of consciousness itself.

Musing on Something

This night's Vision of being gifted with eye-dazzling Pearl necklace left me overjoyed with gratitude! I like what this Gift signifies. . .

Because it felt significant,  I want to have a record  of something that happened earlier this year.  That particular encounter  with another being's  awakened Soul  (during awake* Yogic state)  felt auspicious,  and left me wondering if that bearded, stoic-looking man next to me, was really Aurobindo.

Illuminations From Heart & Above the Head Regions

Few loose threads to tie up. . .
I want to acknowledge the significance  (couple of posts earlier mentioned)  of hearing/listening  to the most sublimely enchanting "flute" melody . . .
Can't say I've ever been Eastern Indian music lover, but I knew and heard Shankara's masterful art since my ex had a couple of his albums.
But not once did I hear a solo flute piece until I Googled and  listened to several pieces on YouTube.
None of the melodies sounded even close .  .  . Not even remotely close!
The sound of 'regular' flute is nice but it's missing that celestial tone -- missing that  bliss-enchanting  luminosity of sound.
How is such a thing possible? . . .
Not 'I', but my greater I-Soul-Spirit orchestrates, (or creates) this kind of synchronicity.
From Wikipedia on Krishnas flute:
"... flute charms the entire creation, animate as well inanimate. The deer-eyed gopis of Vajra are so fascinated "herewith that mandara flowers which decorate their coifure fall. May the sound of Krishna's flute, the enemy of Kamsa and saviour of gods bless you all!"

I saw another snippet on Krishna which states:
"According to Puranic sources, Krishna's disappearance marks the end of Dvapara Yuga and the start of Kali Yuga."

Therefore, can it be stated that the Flute's Melody announces the ushering of a New Era. That's the Message, and I'm the Messenger.
Hafiz wrote:
"I am a hole in the flute, through which Christ breath moves." Anyone whose (eternal) Soul fulfilled her ancient plan can bear witness to same.
                                                                     *
And from another  tying up / unpacking few things, file:
 I Googled "white flame" and found out Eastern Tradition's have meditation to invoke the "White Angel" (who resides above one's head.)

In Deep Samadi-bliss, small White Dove flew out of my third eye . . .
The Mystic in me understands its significance.
The image/symbol represents, or stands for:  I + Soul/Holy Spirit + Great Spirit = I Am That, and so are You (in our innermost being).
The Christian bible tells a story about Jesus being baptized by the Holy Spirit - in the image of a white dove descending  from  blue sky's canopy.  .  .He never said "I am the only sun of God". He urged those who liked his teaching to follow his example.
My Knowledge  is not book knowledge...My  life is my Testimony, that's how  every mystic accumulates "empirical data".
Example:
'White  Dove' / Holy Spirit / Shakti-Light, Baptismal  (experience of the descent of Supramental Consciousness):

With the eye of Spirit, I-Soul gazed down and saw white as freshly fallen snow "2 moon crescents"... when I looked up. I saw the night sky rush over to one side and there it was -  the uncreated Sun / symbol of Divine Truth. I was conscious/ aware I can look at it without having to squint.
Aware, I was standing on the top rung of the ladder while a "smart man" stood on the ground next to it.
Next instant,  my gaze-attention was on a group of folks (on the ground). One man was looking and speaking to me. . .
I tired to focus intently on what he was saying. . .and even though his voice  was 'faint' and I heard only 'garble', I saw his "pleading tone", saw his body's language cry for "help".
Next - a movement on the Sun's right side caught my eye, startling me.  Next, a most welcome sight of a white bird's began its  descent (in a straight beeline towards me)  "and I knew!"
 I  closed my eyes  to  receive  its Blissful energy (in my chest)  radiating its Sweet currents' influence throughout the rest of my body.
Bhakti tears of eternal gratitude Sealed the Deal. . .
Most importantly, I knew (even before this Event) I would never turn away from cries of the world.

*  In Sri Aurobindo's words on the inner Sun's significance:   "The sun is the symbol of Divine Truth, it stands universally for the supramental Light, the Divine Gnosis. Light is the Light of Consciousness, Truth, Knowledge -- the sun is the concentration or source of the Light. It is the symbol and power of the inner or higher Truth."

* On "white as snow" Energy.
Many moons ago, while practicing hands-on energy balancing on my  husband, I was startled (exclaiming loudly) by a sudden appearance of  cloud-like whiteness which moved/danced between my several inches apart hands above his Crown chakra.

Years later I chanced upon Sri Aurobindo's words on 'White Light':
"White light indicates the divine consciousness. White is the purity and power of the divine Truth. The White light is manifestation of pure divine force descending from one of the truth-planes leading to the supramental. (I wrote about my with Kwan Yin encounter and Intitation, during which I saw - with the eye of contemplation - my room filled with "swirling white light".


* Is it safe for me to share what other ascended mystics for thousands of years experienced and shared?  Do I keep quiet  for fear of getting clobbered (with gaslighting furry) for my well earned 'Spirit-wings' from the:  "who do you think you are", camp?
It would be much easier not to, because no one would get angry. 
Gopi Krishna wrote in Kundalini For The New Age  - and I agree that:
 "The men and women who have undergone this transformation and now have this expanded consciousness are known to be in the samadhi state of oneness with the cosmic consciousness. All the great mystics who have written on this subject have given their symptoms openly and plainly. That's the tradition. And from their descriptions, one can compare one's own condition."

Descent of Supramental Consciousness

Not without a great deal of struggle can one get passed the limitations of the egoic self before one tastes that kind of Peace and Bliss that passes understanding - but it happens sooner or later - even to me (smile)
The me, who has been known to not always be the angelic being some think I am today (smile), thanks to (unsolicited) Kundalini Shakti performing cosmic makeovers on me. The awakened Shakti/Kundalini Goddess/Holy Spirit bestows blessing such as automatic body purification, first-hand perception of all the realms of creation, divine siddhis, fills us with bliss and reveals our inmost essence/nature/ to be Divine. This has been my experience so far. I didn't aspire to be spiritual and didn't choose this Path, it chose me, because my eternal self-Soul was ready to 'fulfill her ancient plan'. I didn't study esoteric texts and didn't have anyone to talk about what was 'happening' to me, so I tried to find others who were undergoing the same types of experiences and found some for-me-resonating information in the texts aboout the lives of Saints.

Meantime, the experiences of the Descent of Supramental Consciousness continued. I knew I was 'in good hands' and trusted implicitly this invisible to the eye of flesh part of Reality to 'work' into me what it Wills.   To say that this journey has been hard is an understatement, and the hardest part was seeing my family's  suffering because of the divorce  I knew could not continue to be a 'wife' because it would mean I had to pretend nothing happened to me and nothing changed. I had no choice but  ride my  Soul's destiny wave to its culmination point without having the slightest idea what the 'end-point' might be.

Soul level Initiation experiences is the ascended Yogi's empirical data to be 'gained for earth consciousness'(not personal glorification, as some mean people accused me of). I kept a record of the 'major' experiences, and the idea one day I will be scribbling about it in a blog and other website places, never occured to me during the early years (begining in 1990).
Sri Aurobindo, whose work I discovered when I began scribbling here (2009), confirmed for me these Initiations were the 'Descendence of Divine Light, Peace, Force, and Ananda, and: "these are the things which transform the nature", in order "to carry on the work through the instrumet" + "One feels the force only when one is in conscious contact with it."

Gopi Krishna reminds us: "All the great mystics who have written on the subject have given their own symptoms openly and plainly. That is the tradition. And from their descriptions, one can compare one's own condition."
Spirit Speaks chronicles how my Soul's journey through Light and Sound progressed - the good, the bad, and  everything in between --  which may, or may not be a source of inspiration for others.
There are many types of bliss experiences (ten, according to the Upanishad) before one reaches the Bliss of the Eternal Spirit, "and each level a hundredfold the intensity of the proceeding level."
My couple of nights ago description of getting a   'head massage'by spiraling bands of laser-like energy released my subtle/causal body from my its flesh body, felt blissful. Today's experience included the 'laser-like counter-rotating bands action, but subjectively the Bliss factor felt far more intense. The event/experience lasted maybe thirty seconds only, but it made a great impact on me because of the incredible intensity of the Bliss experience
Brief description: I was in Deep Yogic state (awake in sleep state) when I became aware of what felt like counter-rotating and laserlike bands of energy moving up and down my head and body. Startled, I instinctively braced myself to feel some kind of discomfort - since I remember very well those not always pleasant experiences (in every fiber of my being felt) of 'kundalini rushes' burning to crisp 'karmic chaff', but relaxed as I recognized this was different. . . I was absolutely alert, absolutely bliss-filled. . .The instant the 'massage' stopped, I heard a loud sound of what I could imagine what two electric wires might make when crossed. It's hard to describe precisely the sound, but it definitely sounded electric-like. . .Uttering "Thank You" for such blissful Initiation comes naturally.

This experienced triggered a memory of reading someone's descrcription of the 'Merkabah' body, and decided to find some info on this esoteric-sounding term. Quote:
"The Star Tetrahedron, better known as the Merkabah, is comprised of two opposing tetrahedron that are spinning in opposite directions. In ancient Egyp the word Merkaba referred to a rotating light that would take the spirit and the body from one world to another. In Hebrew it means chariot of God. In the bible it is the way Elijah ascended into Heaven. The word Merkabah means the space/time dimensional body; to assist in the attainment of higher levels of conscious awareness; and to travel or transition between dimensions and realities." ascensionnow.co.uk/star-tetrahedron-merkaba.html

Elsewhere, I saw this statement (but failed to jutt down source info) "The Merkabah can most easily be described as a golden ball of light."
The mention of the golden sphere of uncreated Light, caught my attention because in 1990' my "head lit up like the sun" - according to my frightened husbands during those (in his words) "three or four minutes" - who now, from the far end of the room, kept glancing in my direction with shooing-away hand gestures asking (several times): "stop doing that, I can't see you".
If I/my non-biological Soul wasn't plugged to the Divine Bliss, I wouldn't be able to give 'Shaktipat' transmisions. One incident comes to mind - the time one of my student's with eyes closed perceived and described hovering above her mid-body large sphere of Light, asking "what's it doing here?" (repeatedly).  Even though she was in an altered state of consciousness, she was able to communicate clearly what was happening .  Not only asking, "what's it doing here?", but as the minutes ticked by she became agitated and declared: "I don't like this".  I tried to explain the significance of what introduced itself to her eye of contemplation, and in the end it became very apparent she was not ready to receive and benefit from this Grace-given Initiation.

Most spirital aspirants are not aware that complete transformation is possible when the Supreme Kundalini Shakti 'rescues' the (true) Soul/Light being from its lower nature. Are not aware that:
"The Divine is in his essence infinite and his manifestation too is multitudinously infinite. It that is so, it is not likely that our true integral perfection in being and in nature can come by by one kind of realisation alone; it must combine many different strands of divine experience. It cannot be reached by the exclusive pursuit of a single line of identity that is raised to its absolute; it must harmonise many aspects of the infinite. An Integral consciousness with a multiform dynamic experience is essential for the complete transformation of our nature. - Sri Aurobindo

For Hypathia of Alexandria With Love

When I found out that Hypathia of Alexandria was murdered by religious fanatics, Fierce Indignation compelled me to give voice to what sane beings feel. Many are afraid to rock the conventional boat, some are not and sing at the top of our voice: I AM HER VOICE NOW, I AM THE VOICE OF EVERY WOMAN WHO WAS MURDERED OR SILENCED BY THE OPPRESSOR!

That day I wrote I AM WHO I BECAME, to honor Hypatia's life and her contribution to the world.

I am ancient yet ageless Source of Life
The personification of the Life Force itsel
Worshipped under many aspects
Known by many names.
A single embodiemnt of all gods and goddesses.
As Wrathful Protectress, like long-submerged
Volcanic fires under the sea. . .
I, the Ever-Lasting One erupted
Riding crest's wave, vowing to solemnly guard the
Evolutionary currents with a cry:
I REJECT THE NOTION
ONLY MALE IS CAPABLE OF DIVINE REVELATION!

The True Oracle

'The True Oracle' . . .thus I heard - in Deep Samadhi state - in the Divine  plane of existence, where  the Ultimate Knowledge about the True nature of reality is Realized.   In this state-stage  one discovers that the Ultimate Awakening is given by Divine Grace and Realized by the  awakened awareness of  the True Oracle - one's fully ascended eternal self-Soul.  It is She who bears witness to the fact that her Essence-Bliss is identical with the Essence of the One Spirit . . .

When the  not enlightened critic insists:   'Absolute truth is not perceivable by humans', I wholeheartedly agree and explain that  Absolute Divine Truth/ Divine Revelation is perceivable by one who becomes more than  human at the zenith-point of ones eternal self-Soul's evolution.
I found confirmation for  what it means to 'become more than human', in The Tibetan Book of The Dead in the Glossary section. My copy was translated by Robert A,F. Thurman:
Sanskrit yuganaddha is the Unecelled Yoga Tantra name for Buddhahood, the fifth and highest perfection stages, indicating that relative and ultimate, individual and universal, body and mind, bliss and wisdom, male and female--all dualities--are integrated in this experience of fulfillment.

 Soul level spirituality involves the  fully active Kundalini Shakti whose  'job' is to transform our entire being by automatic body purification. She bestows  upon us  the ability to have first-hand perception of all the domains of creation,  she  is responsible for the  activation  of divine Siddhis (in the superconscious field of the mind),  filling us with  boundless Bliss and revealing the essence of our being to be Divine.
One who is ready for the 'path without a map' bears witness to why 'only by hard sacrifice is High heaven earned'.  . .Karma placed me in this situation because I was ready to endure many years of   (Unsolicited)  Kundalini Shakti's   'makeovers', as well as  Initiations into Deepest Mysteries  by receiving many types of  Soul level Experiences (essential for the complete transformation).
 And, because I knew I was 'in good hands', I  submitted fully to this mind-boggling Force-Power-Intelligence.
Sri Aurobindo confirms this for me:
The psychic aspires to the Divine or answers to things divine, it is surrendered in principle, but it has to develop its surrender in detail carrying with it the surrender of all the being. +
The mind shies from complex cognitive work, the higher vital wants the freedom to fulfill its ambitions, the lower vital loves to indulge in its petty deeds, etc. As each of these defects is identified and relinquished, the psychic flame burns with ever-new intensity creating palpable warmth in various parts of being. +
Only the one who offers his whole nature, finds the Self. Only the one who can give everything, enjoys the Divine All everywhere. Only supreme self-abandonment attains to the Supreme. Only  the sublimation  by sacrifice of all that we are, can enable us to embody the Highest and live here in the immanent consciousness of the transcendental Spirit. 
                                                                        *
In this section I want to have on record what transpired this AM hour during 'Yogic Sleep' (which transcends sleep)
At some point the most pleasant sensations of laser-like beams of Energy began spiraling around my head. . .Next, in my Light-transferred body I beheld the most enchanting panorama of a European looking town. . .So familiar its beauty. Simultaneously, I am thinking  'is this  what it will be when I die?'   I don't want to go into other 'pleasant' details, and will only add that at some point I remembered I have a blog where I scribble to my heart's content about the things that matter to me without being bullied, and 'woke up' in this dimension.

The World As An Extension of Oneself?

Last night I had just such a moment as I realized I was neither in dream, nor the awake state. But first I had to go throught the motions of 'thinking' about what is "for real". . .First I kept asking (several) people if they thought we were dreaming. I was very sure I was wide awake (&) thinking, "how could it be otherwise? This experience is real. We are real."
No one actually answered me. . . a nagging feeling crept in . . . Then suddenly, I stood up, lifted both open hands next to my eyes (and wide eyed) declared out loud that everything was arising in my consciousness! That everything was an extension of myself.
Not first time, but it's fun when that happens.

There is no chance in heck that after such an experience (of Unity consciousness) one can see oneself as either "superior" or "beneath" anyone once one directly discovers the meaning of "I am everything and every experience that arises".

&&

It is true also, that "truth" is different in different states of consciousness, that is why I don't expect many people to agree with what I write/share/offer.
I am glad I have permission to quote Roy Posner's summary and analysis of Sri Aurobindo's The Life Divine, which 'supports' my view of Reality
(to read more google= the life divine, sri aurobindo, an analysis, summary).
From Introduction, the following quote/s mirrors my experiences:

"The higher the plane, the more direct the insight and perception of the object of knowledge he was addressing. I.e. the greater the truth of things."

"Through these spiritual powers of perception; through these spiritual-like intimations of wisdom and knowledge, he was able to experience the knowledge of the Divine from the Divine. It is as if the Infinite consciousness and Reality broadcast knowledge vibrations of Itself . . .explaining its own nature, makeup, processes, interiors, et al -- and Sri Aurobindo had the inner antennae to lock into these signals. In that way, he was jotting down the truths of the Divine directly from the Mind, or consciousness of the Divine.

But that is not all. Though his wisdom came through this supra-normal cognition capacity, it also was developed through his own life experiences . . . from his everyday perceptions of how life functioned . . ."

&

In my experience the "supra-normal" cognition is felt in every fiber of my being. Literally, its 'vibration-cognition' is 'impressed' into every cell of my body. I wrote in previous posts about what it feels like.
I may add that each time I 'travel' in Soul -- (before that happens) -- and before I am 'embraced' by the Great Light, I see it first.

Green Eyed Monster?

Once upon time I worked in a factory . . .One day the energy of  Fierce Indignation  called me to stand up to Ignorance.  .  .And when the dust had settled  the boss approached me and said:  "Thank you for what you did. Now this place is more peaceful".
Story telling....
I liked my job. . .Hands busy with mind free to meditate on whatever I wanted. 
Had I not had the chance to talk with John, I wouldn't know much about him because we worked in different departments. However, that one day we were seated at the same work station. Hands and eyes busy/working,  as were our tongues and curious minds. 

I noticed around  Christmas-time his hunched back, his head hung low in silence  when the rest of us were having drinks and laughing like crazy people :)   He was the one whose "hello" wave was always friendly, even though we only exchanged few words when I worked for a short spell in the same department.
That day at the same work station we talked about families and  personal stuff and sensed he really liked me. I liked his gentle voice, his  hippy pony tail, his never staring ways, his easy to talk to vibe, his great looking face! 
It wasn't until the very end of the shift that John said  'soon he needed to make a very important decision' . . .It was more the way he looked and sounded, which made me urgently utter "whatever it is, I hope it all works out, John" -- just as the end-of-shift bell rang out!

Not too long after that I heard that John is now in transition to becoming "Joan".  She wore pink t-shirts and her breast began to grow.  Even the women's laughter and demeaning remarks seemed very disturbing to me when they talked about  the tension / aggression towards Joan in her department. 
I knew J.  loved her wife and 2 children. I knew her kids loved their dad and thought they were coping somehow .  I knew Joan's decision to 'come out' was not an easy one.
Our hello waves stayed the same and I  (personally) wished  her well.   We still talked about and exchanged books. To me Joan was the same person with new name and changing body. 

On one of my weeks back, I  heard  that couple of days earlier  Joan got her front teeth knocked out by the boxing man / co-worker,  after their Friday night card-playing game (after work).
I was  MAD!  Was so stunned that I said not one word.  None of the women were laughing, either.  I knew I couldn't just stand by and do nothing!  Couple of hours later I asked one woman to show me the teeth-knocking-out brute -- to actually point the bully out to me  -- since I didn't know who he was.

I waited till lunch break to walk my indignant self to their  small plant office (where they took their meals) and hissed:   "DAN (last name) YOU'RE A SCUM AND A CREEP, IF YOU WANT TO PUNCH ME OUT COME OUT THERE!".

"What?" , he asked.

I repeated same sentiment, word - for -word.

He shook his head "no". I walked away satisfied because  I had witnesses (his crew). 

The place was a' buzz after lunch. . . To all that knew me I was the soft spoken one with not one wavy hair in its place -- she who just one week after giving birth to two babies was able to wear pre-pregnancy size jeans with lipstick to match my t-shirt --  suddenly capable of tough-talking like a truck driver,  to one who sported bulging muscles?

"Big John" - grinning from ear to ear - from Joan's department came up to me shortly after lunch, said:  "must be the Irish blood in you."
I could have bat my eyelashes and ask, "How come you think I'm Irish? is it because of my accent or is it the green eyes?" - but didn't.  I was on a mission and was still in serious mode.  

At the punch out (clock) lineup many smiling faces . . . One woman descending the cafeteria stairs - who came in for the next shift, heard what happened - yelled out:  "way to go Helen!"

The following morning, above the entrance  door a huge poster:  "IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU SCUM AND CREEP QUIT NOW!".

And another -- same words, same size poster above the punch clock.

Turned out the guys who witnessed my outrage decided to take further action and prepared 'your behavior  is not acceptable',   message.  That  very morning, Dan the boxer man,  packed up and quit. 

Sometime later Joan, (prompted by her psychologist) wrote a very long open letter . It read like a biography .  Full of pain. Her twice attempted suicide.  And in the end, her gratitude for all the support  from everyone.
I was handed my own copy. Which in turn, I shared with a very bright (summer) teacher-to-be student who was grateful for the opportunity to see what it's like to live with a body which doesn't feel 'right'.

The moral to this story? . . . That sometimes it takes one wrathful person, just one episode/time  to set a'fire minds and hearts of those who only needed someone to take the first step.

Fifth Stage Integration

At the apex-point of the evolutionary journey of the soul to the Divine, one discovers it is the non-biological  Soul/She who is in charge...for she knows best how to fulfill her ancient blueprint.  Through Her Light-Power-Might one realizes that all Life (in the visible and visible domains) is 'pregnant'  with this invisible to the eye of flesh and mind,(ever-present)  Supreme Light-Power.
This realization  can only be attained from a place of Unity within the Inner plane.  .  .

Wisdom literature texts can use metaphors  to describe the nature of the True Light that  enlightens everyone. . .But even the most spiritually alluring words loose all meaning when its Direct Presence introduces itself to the awakened awareness of one's eternal self-Soul.  Only then one can  know truly  that Her Light/Essence  is no different than the Light of the Supreme Creator.
She is  the Blessed Bridge  leading one to discover one's own Divine nature in the embodied sense. . .
Authentic Soul Liberation can't be reached by the thinking mind and its concepts,  it is not accessible  by  feelings or intuition or the experience of nothingness.
Any authentically Enlightened mystic whose non-biological inner Light being (Soul)  gets Ravished by the Luminosity of the Great Light and its Bliss-Essence -- during the  many types of Soul level Initiations -- bears witness to this.
The transcendence-aspect  of the spiritual life is experienced at the apex of one's eternal self-Soul's evolution and it  involves having one's karmic impurities systematically consumed by the Holy Spirit's Fire (Kundalini Shakti) . . .Without this step,  She will not be ready to be erotically ravished by the  Divine Beloved. Without this step, one can't bear the full impact of  the Supreme Cosmic Force-Power ... the very same Power which creates and sustains the universe. 

By now, we  know that surrender to what is happening to us, is the only way to go. In other words,  we completely let go of the idea of  having any type of control during the process of continuous demolition and construction. . .
We  have no idea what may come next, still we trust  the process,  because now we truly know we are guided and are supported  by the Mystery of the Divine Consort....Guided by the Vision and Force-Power of the Great Star of Liberation.
There have been times when  (in deep samadhi states)  I have been given supporting phrases such as:
Concentrate on formulations of cosmic consciousness. And:  Absolute Yantra as travel elegance becomes reality liberation within the one Divine.

The Integration Process  is about Soul level Initiations whose final goal is the ultimate integration.  What does the term 'ultimate integration',  signifies?
I'm glad I have Robert A. F. Thurman's translation (w/commentary) of:
The Tibetan Book Of The Dead -  from Glossary section:

Integration, Sanskrit yuganaddha is the Unexcelled Yoga Tantra name for Buddhahood, the fifth and highest of the perfection stages, indicating that relative and ultimate, individual and universal, body and mind, bliss and wisdom, male and female--all dualities are integrated in this experience of fulfillment.

 When one's awareness crosses the  line of  the sublimated mind,  (passes out of its thinking loop-sphere)  one not only sees, but feels the presence of the Divine/God-Light-Bliss in every fiber of one's being.
Couple of recent examples (2009):
Eye-dazzling flash of diamond-white Light of almost unbearable force-intensity ejected me from my mortal body and plunged me into Clear Black Light's brilliance (not first time) ...during this time outside of time as we know it, I heard my breath's deep exhalation.
&
A Vision of Beloved's  perfect Form clothed in Light's brilliance with brighter, diamond-white Light emanating from His mid-body....before morphing into Light-clothed Woman. . .
The Great Star of Liberation in its Yin/Yang aspects.
                                                              <><><>
Will close this entry by saying what authentically enlightened mystic declares in her/his own words the same assertion, no matter the tradition:

The Halls of the Highest Mystical Knowledge
 Reside in the Living Libraries
Within the Immortal/God-Realized Souls. . .
Those who merge with this Light of all Lights,
Bear witness to this  by presenting the
subtlety of Meaning couched within the authentic spiritual Experience.
Those of us who 'know better', remind the spiritual seeker: "Beware of an exaggerated ambition, pride or vanity trying to seize on spiritual force or experience and turn it to one's glorification ending in megalomania - an unbalanced vital and weak nervous system apt to follow its own imaginations without any true mental will or strong mental will to steady or restarin it." - Sri Aurobindo.
 

     

"WORK FOR THE HIGHER POWER"

Before I'll get to the main topic I want to say that "synchronicity" is the Grace's revilement of "not two".

Last night's adventures in Consciousness included a very poignant "not two" moment . I became aware of people's singing Amazing Grace and saw some  folks walking down the middle of the street just as they were turning a corner . . . Next, I am gliding  in the same direction-flow -- mere inches above the heads of a seemingly never-ending shoulder-to-shoulder walking throng. The political  world-scene is  a'changing in the Arab nations.

Thy Will be done! Just like the Berlin wall, that which is nuts sooner or later crumbles . . .

--

Once upon time, my radio teacher Ann Toth told me to offer a rose (in meditation) to,   on the ground standing man,  after I gloated about my (face up) joy-spinning   in the air ,  then when he asked, "where do you think your power comes from?" , I  answered:
"Where do you think all power comes from?" and continued spinning joyfully.

 Ann saw right through me when I shared  what happened, and I'm very grateful for that!  She told me to  visualise giving that man a red rose ..... Next time I was  dancing on air in dream-state, I dared him to join me, and he did! At first his face looked grotesque, but the longer we danced the more attractive he got.

--
As indicated before I was divinely guided to become a healer.   I still have my  journal notes where I made a note on  Oct. 16th 93'  how   I received an Invitation and an Initiation, but I had to meditate on it to figure out what it meant exactly...

 It was one of  those (for me) poignant messages , which  I knew ignoring it was not an option.  But to hear the answer  to my "but what does it mean exactly?" question  had to wait  until I heard loud and clear  from the realm of Silence, what it is I was supposed do with that message.

I got the answer and responded, and if I didn't respond?  and, if I didn't follow up on what my Soul was guiding me towards?
 I would never know what I missed.  
Some call this type of spiritual practice Dream Yoga. Ever since I was a kid I've been a lucid dreamer that's why I pay attention to significant  signs and symbols. . . brief account of what happened:
So, there I was  having a very pleasant  conversation with an "eccentric woman".  I knew,"We were on the same level" . At some point, she pointed to some folks  and said:  "they believe in magic" -- to which I responded, "if you have the knowledge you can make it happen."

Next instant I was inside a dwelling, standing inside a circle of red clad men who seemed a "couple of 2 feet taller than me" -- which kind of spooked me. I did the 360 degree scan and withdrew my consciousness from that 'moment'.
 Next, I'm struggling to find my way out only to find my self impossibly stuck in a tiny chamber  and  "realized quickly it was futile." (to struggle).
Next instant  I found myself in a room... "no one approached me, but I knew what I had to do, and said: "I'll work for you."
Next I'm standing next to a dark haired woman who pointed to a small,   square and very black shiny "object" ( indicating "pick it up"). "I knew it was a test of sorts and confidently picked it up" . . .Same instant  "I felt like the energies of that object and mine were fusing". Next,  a "Tremendous current of energy lifted me off the ground."
"I levitated" and glided across a people-filled room over to a table with lovers "in love". She was wearing a "satin" creme colored blouse -- my favorite color at the time. 

Oct. 19th. I was alone and decided to intentionally focus on what the above meant exactly. I sat down and waited with eyes open for some sign with incense 'on' seated at least 10 feet away from it. The windows and doors were closed. The cat was not running around and yet -- not right away, but at some point -- the smoke from the incense began drifting directly towards my face in a straight beeline.  That  was  really uncanny . . . And then  I knew!

"I KNOW NOW what the above dream told me "WORK FOR THE HIGHER POWER". I will study Reiki." (direct quote).

I had no idea what Reiki was about but saw in Rev. John White's class one woman raise her palms towards someone who was talking about her migraine and that gesture felt-looked so loving. I heard her say the word Reiki and that it had to do with "energy work". Some days later I  had my  first Reiki workshop.

Becoming a Source of Light

The Soul infused personality no longer fears other's judgments, is no longer caught up in patterns of people-pleasing or people-controlling, because we know who we are and we know where we're headed. . . We tell the truth and if that truth is not welcome, we still communicate it by acting as our Truth because we are filled with Spiritual Purpose.
This state of realization flows from the same source as Jesus' Sword of Truth -- His, "Think not I am come to send peace on earth; I came not to send peace but a sword."

Yes.

When we realize we are eternal and part of a bigger plan we don't cower or mince our words. We have a mind that receives impressions from the Divine mind, which the Soul recognizes as 'higher ideals'. . . These mystical forces keep us on track, keep us pointing in the right direction.
Recognizing and receiving spiritual gifts for what they are, gives us the courage and the strenght to act on them. For otherwise what would be the point of it all? We instinctively recognize what is true and what is false and shallow and sitting on our hands, pretending we are deaf and mute is not an option for one who is 'spirit-alive'.
But we also know how to pick our battles. Jesus warned not to stick around those who hate you.

And rest assured, when inflation tries to rear its proud head, the Soul, like a flame reduces to ashes anything within us that doesn't resonate with the Divine Truth, because this Sword is a double edge sword.
Spiritual Warrior receives its 'command' by way of signs primarily, and if we are versed in properly reading the message we have no choice but obey.

By 'Unknown Friend' on visions quote:

"Vision presents and shows us spiritual things, inspiration infuses us with understanding of them, and intuition reveals to us their essence by way of assimilation with our essence."

I was given in Nov. 5/92 a vision which deeply resonated its "You are being guided, fear not" message. . . A vivid vision of a Fish bringing forth from its mouth a shiny black sphere, which I on the spot translated (from journal quote) as "spirituality" & "power".

May as well mention, just below I jutted down on Nov. 12th/92 about being escorted into a room by a man while "I FLOATED thinking about writing from the intuitive".

So here I am, years later -- still on the Internet -- scribbling, caring not one iota if anyone will ever read this, but it is something I must do because I promised . . .

On Rapture Musings

Edited 2024-07-07 - I decided to rewrite this blog in greater detail and give it a better suited Path Ordained by God, title. This extremely complex 'bridging the gulf between Heaven & Earth' topic's new incarnation was published in 2024/March. I am leaving this one as is 'for the record'.

In this post I will describe three types of  Soul level  Initiations (post-enlightenment stages). These events or experiences fall into the Soul science category that acts like a bridge that joins Humanity and Divinity in a 'not two', way. Genuine Saints and Siddhas show that 'Soul Powers' are real, show that recipients of Grace-bestowed Initiations, have a moral duty to obey the inner call of our vocation for the benefit of all beings. We encourage: 'Open your soul to the Eternal - but it must be the eternal that draws forth your strenght and beauty, not desire for growh. For in one case you develop in the luxuriance of purity, in the other you harden by the forcible passion for personal stature'- in words of an unknown Master. . .We remind the spiritual aspirant that the 'surrendered one relies on Grace to help us patiently endure years upon years of continuous 'demolition' of karmic bagage.

What I describe happened many years before I was guided to check out Aurobindo's work.  What I share *descents of Divine Force-Light/Bliss-Sound* takes place at the zenith-point of one's eternal self-Soul's evolution. And, because I didn't misuse this Knowledge, or betray it by imagining I was 'special, I was able to sustain the responsibility of its Command to bring to the world's evolutionary spirituality table, the Story of what needs to happen before one attains the Final Samadhi. The attainment of the Stage of Coronation in Omniscient in all its aspects, carries with it a responsibility to 'bring down heaven to earth for ourselves and mankind'.

Sri Aurobindo confirms for us that,
'Divine condition descends from above, is given by the Divine. +  The higher spiritual planes create their own formulations in the subliminal in the depths within us. + (but)  To know them, the Supermind must descend into us. +  We do not found ourselves on faith alone, but on great ground of knowledge which we have been developing and testing day and night for years upon years more scrupulously than any scientist his theory and his method on the physical plane." + From The Life Divine, p.956 "For a real transformation there must be a direct and unveiled intervention from above; there would be necessary too a total submission and surrender of the lower consciousness, a cessation of its instence, a will in it for its separate law of action to be completely annulled by transformation and lose all rights over our being."

                                                                <><><>
Brief descriptions:
1.  This particular Initiation experience  was unlike any other, yet just as startling-intense as the rest (circa 1993) - and occurred  during hands-on energy balancing sessions while working on my Master Dr. Kiara Galbreath. On this rare occasion I decided to join the three other fellow students after I finished working on someone else. Standing room only and hands on Kiara's knees suited me fine, until I felt so much energy surging through me and my hands began 'jumping' with strong zaps of electric-like currents. Couple of minutes later, a very much 'solid' column-like of Energy began pounding my Crown chakra in rhythmic waves. . . This was the most fascinating thing to me, because I was standing in a room full of  talking and laughing people!  I knew I had to stay as still as possible and take long and deep breaths in order to accommodate the influx of this Energy into my system. I knew I was in an altered state of consciousness, because even though I heard the noise as if from a great distance,  it made my head hurt.  Because the noise/sound felt very  jarring-uncomfortable, it was really annoying and at some point I asked for silence.  I made that request more then once, then finally the woman sitting at Kiara's feet heard me, and said: "Helen is asking for silence".  No one heard her, so she asked again - and then the room fell silent . . .The instant that happened, I became very self-conscious of my breathing and asked this Energy to cease its action.  And it did.  Not instantly, but within seconds this Conscious Intelligence-Forces' rhythmic wave-action slowed down before ceasing altogether.

*  In retrospect I realized that everyone was so talkative and 'happy' was not just because 'Big Bob' was telling stories about his vacation in Florida with teen daughters, but in addition, they felt the influence of this (transcendent) Bliss Energy.
                                                                 *
2.  I named  the following *extremely intense* Initiation  (in 94) 'Thundering Combustion Experience'.  .   .
I was in bed flat on my back when suddenly my  head  became like a thunderously roaring,  ready to explode,  missile.  .  . I thought this Energy will render me toast (dead) and uttered  "God be with me!"  Next instant I disappeared. . .without  name and  history  'I'  became  witnessing awareness, aware  of  the Intelligent Immensity and Magnitude so great  that,  it is beyond the wildest imagination.
I don't know how long 'I' stayed in this state, but felt what happened  the instant my extremely subtle body  snapped back into my flesh body. The impact was so abrupt, I felt my light body's torso  rise-up to a sitting position before gently laying down.

* Edit adding  23/05/2018, verifying quote from The Darsana Upanishad (6. 36-38) -- which I  chanced upon in 2013 - and am including here with permission from Mr. Sandeep www.auromere.wordpress.com/2010/02/12/the-subtle-sounds-which-indicate-progress-in-yoga.

"The Darsana Upanishad describes the sound heard when the consciousness becomes centered in the Brahmandra (anterior fontanelle), located in top-center region of the head: Whe air (prana) enters the Brahmaranda, nada (sound) is also produced there. Resembling at first the sound of conchblast (sanka-dhvani) and like a roaring of a mountain cataract (giri-praravanna). Thereafter, O great wise one! The Atman, mightily pleased, will actually appear in front of thee. Then there will be ripeness of the Knowledge of Atman from Yoga and disowing by the Yogi of worldly existence." - Guy L. Beck, Sonic Theology, pp 39-103

Edit-ading 2024-01-25 recently discovered *verifying* passages penned by the Rig Veda seer and Shankara, on 'the might of the mighty Rudra'. Adi Shankara defined the name Rudra as: "One who makes all beings cry at the time of cosmic dissolution." + "The strenghth of Godhead never departs from Rudra, him who is sovereing of this world, the mighty" (2.33. g).
The Rig Veda named the Godhead's Power 'Rudra', which is often associated with the sound not heard with our ears' + 'his terrifying howl as he embraks on his destructive rampage' + "The might of the mighty eradicates problems" *karma*.
Rig Veda's prayer to Rudra inludes this verse: "We worship the three eye One who has matted hair who shines like the Sun."
The Bible has references to 'rushing mighty wind': (King James) Acts 2:2-4 "And suddenly there came a sound from heaven of a rushing mighty wind, and filled the house where they were sitting. And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it set upon each of them."
Jeremiah 5:13 "And the prophets shal become wind, and the word is not in them: thus shall it be done unto them".
The rushing wind imagery represents the the dynamic and transformative nature of the Holy Spirit.

I am happy to say that Aurobindo confirmed for me/us that: "There are many Forces (but) it is only the Supramental Force that works absolutely because it creates its own conditions. & The Force descends for two things: 1. To transform the Nature 2. To carry on the work through the instrument' & "One feels the force only when one is conscious of it." & "The descent of Peace, the descent of Force or Power, the descent of Light, the descent of Ananda, these are the four things that transform nature. All these different actions of the Force on the adhara with the intention of opening it up from above and below and horizontally also. The action from above opens it to the descent of forces from above the Mind and the ascent of consciousness above the lid of the ordinary human mind. The horizontal action opens it to cosmic consciousness on all its levels. The action from below helps to connect the superconscient. Finally the consciousness instead of being limited in the body becomes infinite, rises infinitely above, plunges infinitely below, widens infinitely on every side. There is besides the opening of the centers to the Light and Power and Ananda that has to descend from above. & "A sound does sometimes come with a particular descent of conciousness or Force from above."
Excerpts from: Letters On Yoga - On Descent intyoga.online.fr/triple3.htm

3.  I was awakened suddenly because every fiber of my being was vibrating with loud, high voltage note-frequency.  That too felt uncanny but  not entirely surprising because by then, Kundalini Shakti put me through many types of energy balancing Initiations.

* Edit-adding in 2023-06-18, statement on Shabd *Sound* penned by Rig Veda seer: "But the perfect saints, irrespective of whether they belonged to one religion or the other, have gone beyond this and have spoken of Sar Shabd and Sat Shabd as well, and regions beyond Brahmand". - wikipedia/Surat_Shabd_Yoga
Because of these,  and many other types of Initiations, long time ago I wrote: 'I am neither Christian, or any other world's tradition mystic, because the Supreme Shakti  Initiated me into all Wisdom Traditions.  I integrated them all by directly comprehending the Essence of each Tradition's teaching.  At this stage-attainment one has the spiritual authority to declare: 'I jumped out of all possible systems by becoming one with the very source of all power, and therefore, am no longer bound by any of them'.

P.S. Today, I revisited some notes from years gone by - a time I was posting on Shambhala forums (which are long gone) where spiritual types congregated and am smiling. In those years I called myself 'spiritual baby'  and asserted nothing. I shared mystical experiences and read what (mostly) Buddhist types shared with each other. . .I also word-played, because my nature was/is dancing with Joy. I am smiling because one man wrote something to me that caught my fancy, and I want to share what he said said to me:
His avatar name was ogb -  comment's heading said: "Why?"- posted 7/8/2002 at 19:50 AM  (to my response whose content I don't recall).

Just to be with you at the end of the world...
skipping on wide stone path,
like children returning home.
From a single touch of your tummy
comes realizations of kicking imaginations;
fetus of futures truth unborn.
Within you love is right.

Edit-adding 30/06/2018 link to, Cosmic Tonglen Duty www.spiritspeaks-theofilia.blogspot.ca/2011/03/cosmictonglen-duty.html  

Fullness of Presence in Supreme Identity

When  someone  is  ready for spiritual  self-surrender  the awakened consciousness of the Soul  takes charge and, in time will possess the whole being. Once this is accomplished it will  naturally surrender itself to still higher/deeper stage . . .
Surrenders  our littleness to the Supreme Divine  visible to my eye of contemplation its uncreated  Light . . . but it  is the Divine who decides how far we go. . .

One can get there with the help of a  living Master who is in the Absolute State, or  (like me) receive it   from another dimension of Life.   My encounter  with, and  Bliss-energy transmission from  Kwan Yin in 1996,   falls into this category, for example. There were many other Divine energy transmissions  and the reason I  know consciously that I, and everyone else abides within  the  (supreme) Godhead.  Anyone who experiences this, in their own words  will  utter something  which will mirror (this) Rig Veda quote :
 
Beholding the higher Light beyond darkness we came to the divine Sun in the Godhead to the highest Light of all. 

 Known by  various names this Shakti Bliss-force , or the all pervading power of Divine love vibration,   permeates into every atom and molecule, but its subtle power can't be directly felt at the level of human awareness  until the spiritual work is done.
This spiritual force - which some call Kundalini Shakti -  has to ascend and pierce through all the chakras before uniting  with the all pervading power of Divine Love before one feels in every fiber of ones being its Essence, and sees with the eye of flesh its golden light aura around our head and body. (I still have my journal entry when first time I saw mine -  Summer 1994).

Everyone is invited to this Love-party. . .

Those who  possess stabilised sincerity  and spiritual  purity  show  the way, but we can't do the work for you.  We worked hard and long before we were ready for the complete cosmic makeover and the Supreme Transmission.  I never had any ambitions of being  spiritual but it happened anyway.   This Force-Power  is received  by the human vehicle  when its Chakra System can  properly  accommodate  this Love-ananda frequency.

In its  Initiated state  the Soul-flame doesn't change her identity, it changes in orientation. . .
Now we see clearly  that the destiny of the Soul, is, and always was,  in the hands of the Perfect Power.  We see that the (Divine)  Solar Heart's  all encompassing wisdom is the driving force of evolution.
 
One who is plugged into the  Fullness of Presence in Supreme Identity has no choice  but perform  our  Duty on energy level.
 Plainly stated,  when Kundalini / Shakti force is activated within one's body  it produces a large flow of energy  in the reproductive system. This Energy/Essence is directed upwards   pumping  Bliss-essence into the World's hologram.
 I named this job/work Cosmic Tonglen Duty. . .
This  work is not only not glamorous, but right down hard. . .and not something the ego-self would ever volunteer for.  It is not about resting in 'Nirvana' . Nirvana is but a stepping stone, or a means  to something deeper still...Into its  fabric are  woven  'Divine Duty' (work).

When I pleaded:  "Your Will, not mine, be done!",  the Divine  first directed me to become hands-on energy healer. Once I mastered this step, the Soul (who performs the will of the one Spirit)  had another plan in store for me.
I write about these things because I see 'mental spirituality'  parading  as the Real Deal. 

Who will say/confirm this for me? -- who will say:  "This is it, she knows this directly!"
 
She knows --   not  as a mental abstraction, but as something as concrete and solid as the desk I'm sitting at. As solid as my body is . . .There is no one. . .  But  this is as it should be, since only one who is plugged directly to this dimension of being can know what I describe,  can verify this for me.

Someone like Hadewijch of Brabant and Beatrijs van Tienen left written texts of their struggles before they got plugged in to this Supreme Frequency, but  I think it is even more difficult in this day and age I believe because I live in a culture which  sees this  as something  pathological.

Recently I chanced upon this quote:

"If the mind is actually part of a continuum, a labyrinth that is connected not only to every other mind that exists or has existed, but to every atom, organism, and region in the vastness of space and time itself, the fact that is able to occasionally make forays into the labyrinth and have transpersonal experiences no longer seems so strange." - Grof 

It is safe for someone like Grof to talk about  this,  but as soon as I talk about my mystical experiences and Divine revelations,  I am treated with  great suspicion (by many, but this is as it should be).

Spiritual Sciences & Psychic Development

I mentioned in comment section yesterday that my first 'live' Teacher was Rev. John White (www.revjohnwhite.com) . I don't think for a moment he remembers me, but I have a hunch he would if I mentioned his listening to "Angels singing" while he was doing a reading for me. . . "It's the first time that something like this happened to me", said radiant John (among other things.)

Almost daily, in those days, I listened to my favorite (call-in) radio show whose host was mystic Ann Toth. I loved her :) and John was one of the regular guests. And, before long, I just knew I HAD to have classes with him!

One paycheck or not, my restless soul was craving sangha. Was craving something! Spending my husband's hard earned money on my spiritual/psychic development classes seemed like the most frivolous thing ever! But I saved money by not buying anything for myself. By avoiding spending money on things most people deem absolutely necessary.

Besides, 1 year earlier my husband witnessed something uncanny, that, - like it or not - my soul was on the Mission, only I consciously didn't know that yet.
In one of the earlier blogs I described and quoted what went down, what my husband said and saw - 'twos the "Your head lit up like the sun" - lasting sev. minutes - 'moment'.

Last night I send email to Rev. John saying I would be writing about my experiences during the workshop classes in May & June / 91' . . .
If your'e reading this John, I can only hope I do justice by describing what transpired, to your mystic abilities. Truly, you are one gifted Brother-soul who opened my eyes to so much! You encouraged us to study all the bibles of the world in a - 'if you want to help you must understand a lot' - sense. Not to preach, but to understand . . . I never to that day had any desire to even hold a Christian, or any other bible in my hands . . . but I was nice :)

*

Where to start? I loved it all! but my favorite was John's guided meditations, that's where I felt and saw with my minds eye things which were 'fortold'/came true in-time.

"Meeting your guides" was the most profound. . . Seated in a large circle with eyes closed. The instant I closed my eyes my heart began pounding so loud (literally "loud") its sound was beating in my head!

Standing on our left side we were to see our "Healer" guide. And, heck if I wasn't surprised to see, tho very faint-subtle, an image of a woman in a navy blue dress "And she wanted to touch me."
( 2 years later, because I heeded the from-the-subtle-realm orders to become a healer, in 93' I began practicing hands-on healing with Teacher whose fav. color to wear was - in her words - " navy blue" which she often wore.)

Standing in front of us we were to see a guide (I don't recall for what 'purpose' guide. Something about "Future?") . . . And, there she was after a moment of waiting. Red - tress woman in spring-green color dress with a "Design of colorful patterns on the chest area" with streached towards me arms & 'palms up'".
("Expect growth, the design is colorful . . . ")

On the right we were to see our "Scholar" guide. . . Bald, and wearing toga - stern looking man.
(Indicating, "Study ancient texts")

Behind me we were to see . . . I have no recollection who exactly, but that was the one I struggled with. Still I knew it was a man and saw a bit of his "White sleeve".

I was lousy at practicing "Psyching readings" on fellow students thinking "I'll just make something up! I can't do this."
And I sure didn't plan or expected anything to happen then, but it did! Towards the end of that meditation I was so overcome with the Love which I literally felt all around me, that I wept . . . People still siting in silence eyes closed and there was I rumminging in my purse for a tissue and my lipstic fell out! Racket itme!
Maybe that's why John asked me to share what I experienced. By then I didn't care if John or anyone else hears about my oh-so-wonderful psychic soul experiences, because what was revealed to me was already 'sanctified' by me.

More to follow . . .

She Who Has No Name

Wind whispering Truth through the ages (Holy Spirit)
Thistle tall and proud
Looking without seeing
Defending without knowing
Proud suffering, chocked with fear

Come hither, come hither, come hither
And Know . . .
Sky studded with Diamonds
Come and See the Sun's Glory (Vision of God-Light)

Heart and mire
Thistle and Fire
Feet still . . . listening, knowing
Arms reaching, holding, becoming
Wind  whispering Truth through the ages
She Who Has No Name Beheld a Sea of Heather

Until one directly Sees "Truth" (Self realization),  one can be tempted to assert all sorts of half-baked truths, and defend it mightily against anything that threatens its existence.

American psychologist/philosopher/writer Ken Wilber, described in his
9 Basic Structures of Consciousness model, what  each developmental stage 'looks' like. I am mostly - but not entirely - paraphrasing the gist of each stage. 
 I will skip the lower and jump to the 5th:
The "Who am I?" question is placed in the 5th--the Formal-Reflexive mind--"which judges actions according to what is appropriate."

And, if the psychological growth continues in a healthy fashion, one enters the 6th, Existential Body-Mind Integration--called "higher mind" in Buddhism-- and, "if psychological growth continues people can develop a highly integrated self".

At the 7th, Psychic / Soul stage one starts to "intuit transcendental Soul." & 'Ones identity continues to expand beyond the separate body-mind into the wider spiritual dimensions of existence'.

At the 8th, the Subtle Soul stage (without "pathology")--the Path of Saints--
"The outer world starts to look divine, the inner world starts to look divine." & "Consciousness itself starts to becomes luminous, light-filled."
"At this level you start to commune with Divinity or Spirit."

At the 9th, the Causal / Spirit stage,  "the process is complete, the Soul dissolves in its Source." " At this stage people seem very ordinary."

Soul Speak on Mom's Passing

When we got the word she was dying, first Krzysztof flew to see her. After his return a couple of days later, my two other brothers went together to be with her. Extremely difficult time . . . I couldn't fly out bec. of financial concerns. (ex) Husband's folks could have lend us the money, but I'm not into begging.

Few days before her passing I was awakened by her agonizing cry for me . Calling my name - the one she called my all my life (not helen) . Instantly I glanced at the radio clock, but it was pitch black. "Power must be out bec. it was raining and thundering when I went to bed."
With all my concentration I kept myself from falling apart. I knew I must not fall apart! And for the longest time I spoke to her as if I was next to her. Reminding her about God's love . . . Telling her how much she means to me etc etc etc . Lost track of time . Next time I glanced at the clock I realized the power was never out! (Soul-to-Soul meeting)

Mother was buried while bros' were still there. Couple of days later returned to Canada. Three, or four days after her burial I was awakened by a piercing bright point of light which kept getting larger and larger. . . During its 'growing' time with awe I kept chanting (in mother tongue) "Blessed Mary, Blessed Mary" . . . Was fully bliss-bathed in the bright Light when suddenly I heard behind me Mom's voice softly say my name.

First thing in the morning, (first) I called my Catholic sister T. in Poland (who lives there) with desire to share this blessed event. . .she listened then summed it up, "That was a dream!". End of discussion.
Next, I called my brother W. -- he said "I was wondering if she would give me a sign, but I guess bec. you were not there she came to you."
Two other bros' were more than glad to hear all about it.

Solar Heart Initiation

The title of this essay sounds symbolic -  but when properly understood,  the Uncreated Light/Sun  signifies  the descent of  Divine Truth.  In Sri Aurobindo's  (for-me-verifying) words:
The sun is the symbol of Divine Truth, it stands universally for the supramental Light, the divine Gnosis.  + It is the symbol of power of the inner or higher Truth.
I had many types of  'Initiatory  encounters' with the Supramental Light,  this is why I can only unpack a portion of how that happened to me in one sitting.
The ability to experience Ultimate Reality lies at the very heart of mystical experience.  .   .
It is how we discover  (as first-hand experience)  the importance of Soul level  Initiations.
 In this blog I  describe what my journey through Light and Sound was like for me -  with the Intention it may be of service to someone who is serious about Soul level evolution into wholeness and transcendence.
Gopi Krishna asserted:
The illumined person must be able to write what he has experienced and make that writing available to the world. + No one can describe the superconscious state unless one he has the experience of it. This is the most decisive sign to judge whether a man is enlightened or not. He must be able to give a description  of the superconcious state in words which are inspiring and which have an originality of their own.
Aurobindo said the same thing:
It is the descent of new consciousness attained by the ascent that is the stamp and seal of the Sadhana.  Because the object sought after is not an individual achievement of divine realization for the sake of the individual, but something to be gained for earth-consciousness here, a cosmic, not solely a supra-cosmic achievement. The thing to be gained also is bringing in of Power of Consciousness (the supramental) not yet organized and made directly active.

This is not about flaunting one's 'magnificence'. . .such notion is completely foreign to me - foreign to any genuine mystic -  because it comes from egoic conception.  It has nothing to do with 'boasting' ,  but rather about sharing spiritual wisdom with the Intention that it would help mankind on its path to Divine consciousness.  .  .It is about presenting  empirical evidence which introduces itself to the awareness of one's eternal self-Soul.
One of the more intense experiences took place on an auspicious day in the Christian calendar, so  naming this particular Initiatory Event was about  affirming what actually happened.
                                                                    <><><><>
I was genuinely surprised when I heard on the news  that  January 6th was Epiphany Day. I never knew there was such a day in the Christian tradition - and wouldn't care in the least   if  at dawn I didn't receive the most blessed Solar Heart Initiation.  I recognized the significance of this Initiation and decided to see how epiphany is described. . .
From http://www.reference.com/browse/Epiphany
"Christian festival celebrated on January 6.  One of the oldest Christian holy days."
"In the Eastern Church the waters are blessed on this day. The word epiphany means a manifestation, usually of divine power".
                                                             *
Description of what happened when my Soul beheld  the Light of her Source  and my reaction.
With the eye of contemplation  I/Soul  beheld the most breathtaking  panorama. .  when I looked up  I beheld  the Sun's  eye-dazzling brilliance in full awareness of  its  'Uncreated  Sun's'   significance.  The instant I acknowledged its significance the  Sun's Essence (Divine) began its towards-me descent - when it reached my chest it morphed into large crystal-clear sphere and entered my being with a loud burst-like sound.  .  . Now awake in this dimension my bliss-filled self  kept chanting "Oh my God! oh my God!" - tears of gratitude sealed the deal.

* Edit adding quote I chanced upon  after edit-improving this post (April 2019):
Our souls should be like a transparent crystal through which God can be perceived.
- Saint Hildegard of Bingen
* Edit adding link to in 2013 penned, Cosmic Synchronicity Confirmation - years before I saw Hildegard's saying.
www.spiritspeaks-theofilia.blogspot.ca/2013/08/cosmic-synchronicity-confirmation.html

One of the earliest appearances of the Supramental Sun/Light was witnessed in 1990, by my frightened husband. . .Who told me that for several minutes my head  "was like the sun, and I couldn't see you" - during one of my passionate 'discussions' about the nature of REAL TRUTH and BEAUTY (in the living room). During the minutes my head was 'like the sun', he kept glancing in my  direction and with shooing-away hand gestures, pleaded "don't do that I can't see you".
I had no idea what that was about and thought one day I will find the answer in some 'esoteric' book.
I had a variety of other types of  encounters with  the uncreated 'Sun', and sensed it had something to do with mystical realm,  but had no one to compare my experiences with . . .
By the time I discovered  (in 1994) "by fluke" that  I had  golden Light aura-field around my head and body, as well as finger-wide ribbon of blue light next to my skin  (& still have that journal scribble), I was pretty certain it had something to do with  'holiness' and named  my Light aura-field 'Heavenly Robe'.
The confirmation from other (genuine) mystics began to trickle in:  I discovered Hildegard of Bingen,  Netherlands  Beatrijs van Tienen and Hadewijch of Brabant.
After that, Aurobindo's work confirmed for me what no other author could.  The following - in his words - a perfect verifying example of  my Solar Heart Initiation:
The meeting of God and man must always mean a penetration and entry of the divine into the human and a self-emergence of man in the Divinity. But that emergence is not in the nature of annihilation. Extinction is not fulfillment of all this search and passion, suffering and rapture. The game would never have begun.

I  have the courage to assert that I bear witness to true spiritual knowledge of  Divine Reality.  I have the courage to say I became more than human.
 I read that  one who attains Divine Union with the Uncreated God-Radiance is received by a 'completely purified saint'.
Soul-level experience is the ascended mystic's Depth data,  and the birthright of every evolving soul.
 Those of us who already ride this  Cosmic Solar Heart frequency bear witness to this Truth. This is why  we wish to remind anyone who wants to hear this: 'Your eternal Soul is timeless,  and  sooner or later She will fulfill her ancient plan with your co-operation, but not before you go through the Baptismal of 'Purifying Fires' (Kundalini Shakti style).
I am getting weary but will give another example of what 'penetration and entry of the Divine into human and self-emergence of man in Divinity', was like for me circa 1994 during hands on energy balancing practice (in a room full of people).
What I felt  words can describe, but  can never convey what it really feels like to experience: 
 "The descent of Peace (Sat) the descent of Force or Power (Chit)  the descent of Light, the descent of Ananda, these are the things that transform nature. It is not really the plane that descends, it is the Power and Truth of it that descends into the material and the veil between the material and it no longer exists. + "The Force descends for two things: To transform the Nature 2. To carry on the work through the instrument. At first one is not conscious of either working, afterwards, one becomes conscious of the Force working but not of how it works. Finally, one becomes conscious entirely and in detail." 
In words of one I named my 'primary peer review person', Sri Aurobindo.
Description:
 I was Soul-directed to become energy healer and became intensely devoted  to this Practice.  That day - circa 1994 -   amidst much laughter and chatter, in deeply meditative state I approached the (massage) table to practice hands on healing on our Teacher.
 Three other students were seated and having jolly good time talking and laughing about teens and their habits during vacation in Florida.   I was standing with hands lightly resting  on  teacher's  knees and within seconds my hands began  jumping with 'electricity' because there was a LOT of energy flowing through  me.  Minutes later my Crown chakra  became the channel through which  (what felt like)  a  wide column of  Energy began flowing into me in rhythmic waves. This was one of those 'first time like that',  moments  and I was determined to stay in this grove as long as possible  by  taking  slow deep breaths to accommodate this sudden influx of Divine energy.
Simultaneously,  I was irritated by the noise/voices in the room because even though it subjectively felt I was many miles away, the noise hurt my head - so   I asked for silence.
 Not even the woman  seated  at Teacher's feet  heard me. I asked  several more times before B. announced I was asking for silence.  At last  all was quiet and I became self-conscious of  my  breathing  and  silently asked this Force to stop.  Within seconds the  Energy Influx  wave-action  slowed down, then  ceased  altogether.  Next moment in a blissful daze I walked over to the other side of the table, placed my hand on K's  heart chakra and  whispered: "The angels really love you".
 "They love you too!", she exclaimed.   (We knew that  'angel'  energy stands for the  'Divine').

Edit-adding closing thought:
The Divine Light and its Treasury, or the Glory of the Absolute Supreme is at hand and is within. Nothing is given until the ignorance inside us fades. Saint John of the Cross reminds us:

Before this Divine fire of love is introduced into the substance of the soul and is united with it, by means of purity and purgation that is perfect and complete, this flame is wounding the soul, and destroying and consuming in it the imperfections of its evil habits; (*greed, jealousy, desire to have power over others, etc.)  and this is the operation of the Holy Spirit, wherein he prepares it for Divine union and the transformation of its substance in God through love. +
In thus allowing God to work in it, the soul...at once illumined and transformed in God, and God communicates to it its supramental Being, in such a wise that it operates to be God Himself, and has all that God Himself Has. And this union comes to pass when God grants the soul this supernatural favour, that all the things of God and the soul seems to be God rather than a soul, and is indeed God by participation; although it is true that its natural being, through thus transformed, is as distinct from the Being of God as it was before.

*Edit note:   I revisited this blog's topic  in the  'Epiphany Day' post - Jan. 6, 2010
  www.spiritspeaks-theofilia.blogspot.ca/2010/01/epiphany-day.html